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Post by kpnuts on Jan 14, 2016 14:39:47 GMT -7
I just got back from my wife's mum's funeral (she's staying on for a week) he Joe her husband looks at the floor and says very little after 59 yrs of marage (he had a 30yr bottle of whiskey set aside for their 60th) he was the life of the party, now he's lost, his wife she was a wonderful woman (helped at the Lockerbie disaster cooking meals for the police and rescue services) I have a very small idea how he feels as my wife is staying on for a week and I am alone, as he would be and I can't help thinking if I was in his shoes and it was my wife I'd lost. He served in wwII and saw a lot of action, went through it all and yet I've never seen him like he is now, never seen my missus as she was at the funeral (never want to again)(although I know it will be at least once more) why do people have to die Joe is such a nice guy, people joke about their inlaws but mine have been the best RIP Barbra Bateman a wonderful mother, grandmother and great grandmother.
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Post by Big D on Jan 14, 2016 18:38:32 GMT -7
I understand how you feel. I've seen so much of it but it still gets me how people are one minute and gone the next. My wife and I have 40 yrs. and if she goes first I will be lost. She is truly my partner. My prayers are for you and your family.
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Post by CoyoteCrunch on Jan 15, 2016 7:20:37 GMT -7
I feel your sorrow Ken, and I wish you all the strength in the world.
Time will help to heal the wounds, but some wounds cut deeper than others, and for your father in law, Joe, this is the case. He will need everyone now, more so than ever before. So be strong for him, hold your head high, and help him to keep his chin up as well. You may, at times, feel Joe does not acknowledge it, but deep down, he will appreciate it, I know this. And in doing so, not only will you help him through this awful time, it will help to bring you comfort as well. You must not dwell on what the future holds, or how you may feel when the future arrives, but instead, hold onto everything that is here and now. Times like these are when we all need to stop, take a breath, step back and see how truly blessed we all are.
A few years back, we dealt with a lot of darkness as well. I had to watch my wife struggle, witnessing her Mom ever so slowly, fade away from us all. She was struck with Alzheimer's. A maddening disease, that I would never wish to anyone. It truly was a sad thing to learn and go through. The woman was always so vibrant and lively, and in the end, she lost all memory, and truly was alone. She had no idea who she was, who was there with her, why they were there, where she was at, on and on and on.
There was nothing I could do for her, or for my wife. As I watched them both fall apart, I realized the best thing I could do, was to simply be there for them. Hold their hands, smile to them gently, and comfort them as best as one could. I did my best to be the one to try and help them to smile here and there, to think of something pleasant, even if just for a moment. I took over everything mundane, because as we know, the world does not stop for anyone. I put everything on my shoulders, so they did not have to think or worry of anything else but each other.
In the end, after all the tears, after the funeral, after the final, tear filled goodbye's, this is what my wife remembers the most, that I was there for her. So do everything you can, to be there for Joe, and for your missus, to help them forget the darkness, if even for only a moment. It's the simple joys that keep us all going, for each other, helping each other, and being there for each other.
The one thing that can never be taken away from us all, is the here and now, so be with them as best you can, in the here, and always now.
Sending prayers and thoughts, across the big ole pond, to you and yours Ken. |
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Post by kpnuts on Jan 16, 2016 14:26:35 GMT -7
Thanks so much for the kind words.
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