My Dad....

That's a fine memorial John. I know what you feel. Mine's been gone 20 yrs and I miss him everyday.

John,
 
 I am sorry for your loss. I TOTALLY understand your feelings. I lost my Dad in 1996. My son was 9 months old & never got to meet his Grandpa. And I am , to this day, SAD , that my son NEVER met my Dad. He would have been truly impressed & touched by my Dad.
My Dad was a truly the motivating force in my life & still is to this day. He is the 1 who taught me to build models & work on cars. He is the 1 who planted the seed of cars in my brain.
There is not 1 day that passes , that my Dad is not in my thoughts & prayers. I feel I am the person I am today because of him. My work ethic, my dealing with others & my ideas about the world, are mostly shaped by him.

To all of our fathers who have left this world.....REST IN PEACE......
Your sons are STRONGER because of YOU!!!

  Rick

-Rick, David, thank both of you!!!!! I have to admit the past few days have been really hard.... I look at "modeling" a way of doing what I know and seem to be pretty good as I hear, BUT that too, I'm unable to work on real 1:1 cars, as thats what I would be doing, had I had a "project" car, BUT the models, bring me close to that and that brings him close to me in times that are difficult like the past few days....

I have to say Rick, not a day goes by my Dad hasn't been on my mind since his passing.....I had a rough time many years with the loss of my Grandmother (Dads Mom) and I thought it be hard to "top" that, boy, was I WRONG in thinkin that way!

There is however a sort of messed up story behind all this and why its so......... "touchy" shall I say, but when I'm able I'll post it here to give you guys a bit more understanding of it all......

But in the mean time, THANK YOU! ALL of you out there for reading and comments.....It greatly helps, as the car modeling does in a sort of different way!

Thanks Tom....In what you said, its true! Building in his honor, is EXACTLY what I did with the Hemi Powered Sleigh for the Christmas build off....A bit of a story behind that one as well.... See, at that time, me, being well...........me, I did it the hard way! Why? WELL I know that I'm good at scratch building, and added that plus the love of Christmas, and knowing both these things I knew in some way, I could pull off the model.............Didn't know if I'd win or not (during the build, really didn't "care" if I had won or not, BUT the peace from the build did exactly what you said here.......... my Dad loved Christmas, and so don't I (just not to the extent of a half a million lights or damn near on my house,) BUT, that did bring me closer as that along was a time that was difficult and hard to deal with as he would have called me, I can't tell you how many times during that holiday, if he were alive as he did the year before..... The build, being a contest forced me to complete the model, with the angst to meet the dead line but to add all I possibly could to it in that time frame in honor my Dad and put some sort of feeling into it.....in-other-words, take a bad situation and make some good from it.......

LOL sadly I have yet to find a good place to display that Sleigh, so it right now is in my Living Room......When all the rest of the "Christmas" decorations is put away till next year. This just isn't a "common" decoration so......

Kinda odd to display a seasonal item ya know? BUT it reminds me of the time I had building it..... So in some sense of it all, the modeling, it puts a bit of spirit into each model I'm working on as I build them and that comes from my Dad.......AND again, your right with the "Hey you know that plug wire is off" WELL he sort of did that with the 1/4th scale Hemi I built on his dinning room table a few years ago, at 1:30 AM he and & got into an argument that the one head to the engine was upside down, (it wasn't) but, was a funny one as my Wife goes, I could have killed the both of you that night! LOL Good times tho, the argument wasn't "nasty" but it was some freakin funny......As I was building it, I got to looking (mind you, this was thee first model "car" item I've built in 20 plus years!) I got the block done, got the heads on the thing, and had the valve covers ready to go, and looked at the thing and said out loud "OK, this damn thing is huge, I display the trains, how in the hell am I gonna "display" THIS!?" So, at the same time my Dad, was doing something with a night stand lamp next to me I think he put a new lamp bulb socket in it, with a twist on/off switch.....And thats when it hit me! (This happened the following morning waking up coffee.....I'm gonna make this damn motor into a night stand lamp.....Wife wasn't agreeing to it at first till it was done. BUT my Dad and I did this to that motor in his shop, together.....This was 3 years ago on Thanksgiving because I live so far from where I grew up we went on vacation on thanksgiving, and because of the distance factor we also did "Christmas" as well, This was thee first Christmas, with my Dad that I had in 20 years.....

See, this is part of the story I mentioned above. My Mom had drove a wedge so deep between him & I, that I stopped speaking with him and having any contact.....Sadly 20 years past! And my Mom got to the point where she would try to keep that wedge in place, and it got to the point with me one time that I asked myself "why?"..... I just could not answer that to myself in an honest way, at this time, it just so happened to be between Thanksgiving and Christmas as my wife was filling out Christmas cards and she for whatever reason had a mis count on cards, envelopes, and pictures of my Daughter, Lily.....And thats when I said I want that card and picture......I filled it out wrote a note on the inside of the card and sent it to my Dad including my home phone number to call me......That 20 years of separation ended within 3 days of mailing that card.... This just so happens to be 5 years ago, 5 years in April, my Mom has been passed! Of all people, my Dad calls to tell me my Mom wasn't good, of all people, she STOPPED talking to me once she knew I was in touch with my Dad............ Sadly, I live with that too but, my Dad well, was just that, my Dad, even if she didn't want me to talk or be in touch with him, And I told her so, she after this, kinda disowned me and wouldn't even bother calling me talking with her Grand Daughter, or anything why? I can't say, I honestly don't know.....Family issues, I got no idea....BUT because of that long stretch of time that I didn't talk to him, I was kinda skeptical on it, but once I "seen" him, it was like no time ever passed even tho 20 years went by! Sadly, he passed after going on 5 years of contact with him. And that too is something I live with. As screwed up as the whole scenario is, its sadly true! My wife thought for a long time I was crazy, but she soon learned different, and with the whole dysfunctional family thing, he & I healed it..... Which I know made his life a bit more worth living and got to know his only grand child! I was told by several of his Co-workers at the time that he actually cried on the way to work the following morning talking about that card to them, but wasn't said it was a joyful one.....

Just knowing that I caused something like that makes it worth the while and I'd do it again.....IF I could! BUT because he's now gone, that 5 years just wasn't long enough for me, or him, or my Daughter, Lily.... -That alone is what pushes me to strive on on the model cars, My Dad had a love for them too, cars in general but he collected "Die-Cast" as he would tell you himself, he wasn't able to build the plastic ones so..... I used to argue that point with him but.....-Yet another funny story with that one too.... I look back and laugh!

Thanks for reading everyone as screwed up as that may be its true, but thats the story I mentioned a few messages up the page that I'd type out.... And thanks Tom! Your right the builds do make me a bit more close to him in that way, I'll continue to build!

John,
I understand your feeling of loss my pops passed 9 yrs ago in Feb and I do credit him with helping in my love of modeling now he only built 1 kit that I can remember it was a Harley like on CHiPs (My little brother and my favorite show) and he only showed mild intrest in real cars but as a kid when I would build a car no matter how lousy the thing looked he would give advise on doing this or that in another way or dont do that again etc but the best thing he did for me was give constructive criticism and when I build now I think about those words and I use that with my oldest son who started his first build Saturday night I give advise without being condescending no matter how far out there he goes with his paint choices so I feel its come full circle... So here is to your Dad hand-clapping-smiley-emoticon