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Post by Big D on Feb 28, 2015 19:53:56 GMT -7
Would sound perfect with the David Attenborough voice over. lol  |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2015 5:59:51 GMT -7
A BABY Police Car?  ?? THAT THING is ANYTHING BUT SMART! How the hell do you carry arrest's in that? Strapped to the roof? Ya might overload the thing, or if the "load" isn't center it might flip over onto its side! (OK I'll stop now!)
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Post by stitchdup on Mar 2, 2015 15:59:48 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2015 17:44:40 GMT -7
-GAWD that says alot.... some of "those" locally ought to wear MORE then 2 layers to cover up the eye sores!
THEN every now and again some ought to wear less for viewing pleasure (RARE case here!!!!)
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2015 22:03:18 GMT -7
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Post by Big D on Mar 2, 2015 22:05:24 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2015 0:18:14 GMT -7
That about sums it up Frank! |
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Post by stitchdup on Mar 3, 2015 1:00:25 GMT -7
hehe
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2015 16:44:03 GMT -7
nice  |
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Post by stitchdup on Mar 3, 2015 18:27:29 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2015 18:47:56 GMT -7
bahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2015 19:05:23 GMT -7
A panda walks into a bar and orders a cheeseburger.
After he finishes the cheeseburger, he gets up, pulls out a gun, fires the gun into the ceiling several times, and turns to walk out.
The bartender looks at the panda angrily. "HEY! What did you do that for?"
As the panda is walking out the door, he replies "look it up."
Puzzled, the bartender logs on to wikipedia and types "PANDA" into the search. He begins reading... a large bearlike mammal native to China. Usually eats shoots and leaves...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2015 19:14:23 GMT -7
Do you know why chicken coops have two doors?
If they had four doors they'd be chicken sedans.
Ole and Sven went out and bought themselves a new Ford Country Squire, back when they were still available. When they got it home, they started stripping the fake wood off of it. When they were done Ole turned to Sven and said, "You know something Sven? I liked it better when it was in the crate."
A boy with a wooden eye approaches a girl with a wooden leg and asks her if she would like to dance.
"Would I?! Would I?!" the girl exclaims
The boy points at her embarassed and shouts "Peg leg! Peg leg!"
Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.' Larry asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and
finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.
After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in
the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER
THE ICE."
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of
cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the
voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the
ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole.
The voice came once more,
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
She stopped, looked skyward, and said,
"IS THAT YOU LORD?"
The voice replied,
"No, this is the manager of the hockey rink."
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2015 22:58:26 GMT -7
Frank, I SEEN that last one coming BEFORE you even said it...... LMAO NICE!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2015 23:51:44 GMT -7
A man is speeding in his car when a cop pulls in behind him and flips on his lights. The man first attempts to out run the officer. After a few minutes he thinks better and pulls over. The officer comes to the window and tells the man" I should really give you a ticket. However my shift is about to end and I really don't feel like fooling with the paper work. I am going back to my car, I will be back in two minutes. If you got a good story for speeding and refusing to pull over, I will let you go. The officer then walks away. Two minutes later he returns to the mans window and says "Well? The man politely says" Sir, about a month ago my wife of 25 years ran off with a cop. I thought perhaps it may have been you and you were trying to bring her back." The officer sent the man away without a ticket.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2015 23:55:54 GMT -7
A Lady takes a very limp duck to the Vet's office
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2015 0:48:17 GMT -7
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Post by stitchdup on Mar 4, 2015 3:30:19 GMT -7
lol
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2015 5:15:39 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2015 8:21:00 GMT -7
glad you guys are enjoying  |
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Post by stitchdup on Mar 6, 2015 12:03:36 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2015 13:15:08 GMT -7
Ain't that the freakin truth ----^
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2015 14:07:21 GMT -7
running-around-smiley-emoticon good one Stitch!
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Post by Big D on Mar 6, 2015 15:51:39 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2015 18:57:38 GMT -7
-laugh you funny guys, but the snow outside has melted down 2 feet and I still have something like just over 3 feet of the sh!t........ This is the pile 'O white CRAP the fallen stuff is something like 2 feet right now! Been warm in the day but has been really cold at night so.. melts in the day and then the whole parkin lot goes from pond, to ski slope (I fell and busted my ass yesterday) LOL Damn stuff!
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Post by stitchdup on Mar 6, 2015 19:05:38 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2015 19:47:11 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2015 21:13:26 GMT -7
Redneck reverse.................LMAO
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2015 8:56:57 GMT -7
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Post by stitchdup on Mar 8, 2015 10:26:31 GMT -7
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??
